The CIA wanted to introduce a spy into Russia. They figured he’d have to be able to speak perfect Russian, drink massive amounts of vodka without passing out, and play the balalaika. They finally found one volunteer who could do all three and sent him to Moscow.
When he arrived he found the Russian equivalent of a bar and started talking to the bartender in perfect colloquial Russian. After a few minutes the bartender said, “You’re not Russian.”
“Not Russian?” said the agent. “Watch this.” He guzzled a couple of liters of vodka without showing any effect. “Very impressive,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“How can you doubt me?” asked the agent. “Watch this.” He took a balalaika from the wall and played a succession of Russian folk songs perfectly. “You play great,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“I speak perfect Russian, play the balalaika, and guzzle vodka as only a Russian can,” said the agent. “How can you say I’m not Russian?”
“There are no black Russians.”
Комментарии
Просто все русские знают, что на самом деле свинья — охуенная тема!
Бля, я сюда деградировать пришел, а не английский учить. Вы не в тот паблик запилились, в курсе?
The CIA wanted to introduce a spy into Russia. They figured he’d have to be able to speak perfect Russian, drink massive amounts of vodka without passing out, and play the balalaika. They finally found one volunteer who could do all three and sent him to Moscow.
When he arrived he found the Russian equivalent of a bar and started talking to the bartender in perfect colloquial Russian. After a few minutes the bartender said, “You’re not Russian.”
“Not Russian?” said the agent. “Watch this.” He guzzled a couple of liters of vodka without showing any effect. “Very impressive,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“How can you doubt me?” asked the agent. “Watch this.” He took a balalaika from the wall and played a succession of Russian folk songs perfectly. “You play great,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“I speak perfect Russian, play the balalaika, and guzzle vodka as only a Russian can,” said the agent. “How can you say I’m not Russian?”
"Пошел нахуй."
Почему в голове диалоги озвучились голосом Невского??
The CIA wanted to introduce a spy into Russia. They figured he’d have to be able to speak perfect Russian, drink massive amounts of vodka without passing out, and play the balalaika. They finally found one volunteer who could do all three and sent him to Moscow.
When he arrived he found the Russian equivalent of a bar and started talking to the bartender in perfect colloquial Russian. After a few minutes the bartender said, “You’re not Russian.”
“Not Russian?” said the agent. “Watch this.” He guzzled a couple of liters of vodka without showing any effect. “Very impressive,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“How can you doubt me?” asked the agent. “Watch this.” He took a balalaika from the wall and played a succession of Russian folk songs perfectly. “You play great,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“I speak perfect Russian, play the balalaika, and guzzle vodka as only a Russian can,” said the agent. “How can you say I’m not Russian?”
Ты анеки на английском постишь
— There are no black Russians.
— Look at these hachee among us, you fucking idiot!
ЦРУ хотел ввести шпиона в Россию. Они полагали, что он должен был бы быть в состоянии говорить совершенным русским, выпить огромное количество водки, не раздавал, и играть на балалайке. В конце концов они нашли один доброволец, который мог бы сделать все три и послал его в Москву.
Когда он прибыл, он нашел русский эквивалент бар и начал говорить с барменом в совершенном разговорном русском языке. Через несколько минут бармен сказал: "Ты не русский."
"Не русский?" Сказал агент. "Смотри." Он жрал пару литров водки, не проявляя никакого эффекта. "Очень впечатляет," сказал бармен, "но ты не русский."
"Как вы можете сомневаться во мне?" Спросил агент. "Смотри." Он взял балалайку от стены и играл череда русских народных песен совершенно. "Вы играете здорово", сказал бармен, "но ты не русский."
"Я говорю чистейшем русском, играть на балалайке, и жрут водку как только россиянин может," сказал агент. "Как вы можете сказать, что я не русский?"
"Там нет черных русских."
The CIA wanted to introduce a spy into Russia. They figured he’d have to be able to speak perfect Russian, drink massive amounts of vodka without passing out, and play the balalaika. They finally found one volunteer who could do all three and sent him to Moscow.
When he arrived he found the Russian equivalent of a bar and started talking to the bartender in perfect colloquial Russian. After a few minutes the bartender said, “You’re not Russian.”
“Not Russian?” said the agent. “Watch this.” He guzzled a couple of liters of vodka without showing any effect. “Very impressive,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“How can you doubt me?” asked the agent. “Watch this.” He took a balalaika from the wall and played a succession of Russian folk songs perfectly. “You play great,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“I speak perfect Russian, play the balalaika, and guzzle vodka as only a Russian can,” said the agent. “How can you say I’m not Russian?”
"Are you aware that your genitals are visible?".
The CIA wanted to introduce a spy into Russia. They figured he’d have to be able to speak perfect Russian, drink massive amounts of vodka without passing out, and play the balalaika. They finally found one volunteer who could do all three and sent him to Moscow.
When he arrived he found the Russian equivalent of a bar and started talking to the bartender in perfect colloquial Russian. After a few minutes the bartender said, “You’re not Russian.”
“Not Russian?” said the agent. “Watch this.” He guzzled a couple of liters of vodka without showing any effect. “Very impressive,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“How can you doubt me?” asked the agent. “Watch this.” He took a balalaika from the wall and played a succession of Russian folk songs perfectly. “You play great,” said the bartender, “but you’re not Russian.”
“I speak perfect Russian, play the balalaika, and guzzle vodka as only a Russian can,” said the agent. “How can you say I’m not Russian?”
“Because you just have looked at the end of joke, faggot”
Он хотел ввести ЦРУ шпионить за Россией. Как вы думаете, что он будет, конечно, говорить о России в таком положении, у нас есть много водки, а не выдавать и играть на струнных инструментах. В конце концов, они обнаружили, что добровольцы, которые делают все три, и отправили в Москву.
Когда он прибыл, он нашел русский эквивалент в баре и официанты стали говорить на русском языке владелец бизнеса. Через несколько минут, официант сказал: "Ты не русский."
"Это не русский?" Сказал агент. "Смотри". Он съел несколько литров водки, но безрезультатно. "Впечатляет," сказал бармен ", а не России."
"Как вы можете сомневаться во мне?" Я спросил брокера. "Смотри." Он получил струнный инструмент от стены, играют некоторые русские народные песни. "Я сделал большой, сказал:". ", А не России" бармен
"Я могу свободно говорить по-русски, играя струнные инструменты водку может также Россию," сказал агент. "Как вы можете сказать, что я не русский?"
"Без России черный."